Main Characters:

Steve Ballmer, a long-term Microsoft employee who has served as company President since mid-1998. A Stanford Business School dropout. One of the richest men on the planet who is too stingy to join the Hair Club for Men. Wears blue dress shirts with no tie. Looks like a neighborhood drunk.

Steve Case, a co-founder of Quantum Computer Services, which later became America Online. A Williams College graduate. Is credited with invention of pineapple pizza topping and some other great technological breakthroughs. Wears Hawaiian-style shirts. Looks like a used car salesman.

Supporting Role:

Steve Jobs, a co-founder of Apple Computer, who has miraculously revived the Fruit Company after staging a coup at the corporate headquarters two and a half years ago. A Reed College dropout. Wears black turtlenecks. Possesses a "reality distortion field." Looks like an aging hippy.

The January Timeline

January, 5 - Steve Jobs accepts Apple CEO position full time.

January, 10 - Steve Case becomes chairman of the board of AOL Time Warner.

January, 13 - Steve Ballmer takes over the CEO responsibilities at Microsoft.

January, 18 - Microsoft reports higher-than-expected quarterly earnings.

January, 19 - Apple announces surprisingly strong profits and record unit sales.

January, 20 - AOL releases a strong earnings report.

The Plot

Back in the seemingly prehistoric times of the late 20^th century, there were three relatively obscure companies whose only purpose in life was to serve as an invariable subject for the never ending stream of techno-jokes. Time and time again almost everybody even remotely related to the computer industry considered it their responsibility to distribute the "Top 10" lists that made fun of Micro$oft, America On-hold, and CrApple. But that was before The World Has Gone Insane.

Then, all of the sudden, the seemingly endless supply of humor ran dry. In the late 1999, the only people still laughing out loud in the privacy of their own tropical islands were those who owned stock in either company.

Meanwhile, after all was said and done, three individuals whose names were relatively unknown to the general public up until just a few months ago, have emerged as the new symbols of immense success and enormous wealth. At the first glance, they have little in common but first names and top ranking positions in their respective empires. Yet somehow, they are now looked upon as nothing less but the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost of the new Cult of Personal Computing. Their names are Mr. Ballmer, Mr. Case, and Mr. Jobs.

It's been only a few short years since Soviet Union, the last empire in the traditional down-to-earth sense of the word, has collapsed. As we speak, the very meaning of the term "World Domination" is being reinvented. Welcome to the Age of Empires, version 2.0!

Oh, and by the way, isn't there some guy named Steve running for President of United States?